Statecraft 101

The otherwise benign site How Stuff Works recently published a tutorial on a more unsavory topic than usual: How do I start my own country?

Generally, my interests run in quite literally the precisely opposite direction. Even so, I’m taking it upon myself to produce a more straightforward tutorial, solely for purposes of clarifying some of the issues involved.

How do you start your own country?

Generally, it begins by bullying people around, extorting money from them and then having the nerve to call it a “tax” and pretend they “owe” it to you.

Claim and attempt to exercise a territorial monopoly on violence.

Do this well enough to destroy or suppress any similar criminal outfits within your area of operations.

To confuse matters, assert special rights that ordinary folks don’t have, including a unilateral ability to determine what “law” is.

Marginalize your critics. Fight especially dirty on this one. Your options run the gamut from extermination to slander and everything in between.

Announce special programs to give the people a tiny portion of their wealth back — on your terms, and never as much as you took from them in the first place. Hire paid liars to assert this proves how necessary you are.

Design a flag.